Maybe it’s just my perception, but it seems to me that too many people have become afraid of having to work hard. They seek to do only the barest minimum necessary to just eek by. They feel that the world owes them praise, recognition, and rewards (grades, money, promotions, etc.) just because they showed up. They give up too soon when results don’t come easily, they aren’t spoon-fed the answers, or they need to put in any “additional” effort. Honestly, this is just sad. When people refuse to do hard things, they rob society of what could have been and stunt their own self-esteem. A healthy culture demands that we do not just show up, but rather that we push ourselves to excel.
This topic has been on my mind quite a bit lately. I’ve had conversations with my son about this a number of times over the past few years, trying to instill in him a desire to push himself to not just meet the minimum requirements, but to demonstrate excellence; to choose doing difficult things on purpose, not merely to “bear the cross”, but to challenge himself, to build his character, to feel the enhanced sense of reward, and to establish a positive reputation.
Inspiration From A Book Title
While searching for Christmas gifts for my son this year, a book with an interesting title appeared in my gift recommendations on Amazon.com: Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations, written by teenage twin brothers Alex and Brett Harris. After reading the book description on Amazon, I immediately borrowed the book from the library and read it within a few days. The premise of the book is fantastic: that society is harming generations of young adults by setting expectations too low, and that teens specifically (though honestly, it applies to all of us) should do hard things for the benefit of not only themselves, but for others as well – but most importantly to glorify God. Whether or not you are religious in any way, the principles still stand. A culture that encourages people to do hard things, starting from a young age, will be stronger, more productive, happier, and more resilient. From the moment I saw the title of this book, I realized that I needed to write about this concept.
Why Do Hard Things?
If you do a Google search such as “why is it important to do things that are difficult or hard”, you’ll actually find quite a few results. Out of curiosity, I read a few of the top results to discover how other people felt about doing hard things. In particular, posts from Desk to Dirtbag, Marc and Angel Hack Life, and The Art of Manliness resonated with me. They all have solid ideas and viewpoints worth reading.
Based on my own experience, there are a number of benefits to doing hard things. The following list is certainly not exhaustive, but presents some key concepts of my ‘do hard things’ philosophy. These are in no particular order.
1. Savor Sweeter Success
Think about it. When you do something that is easy, how memorable is it? How about when you achieved something that was extremely difficult? Which ‘accomplishment’ would be more rewarding: walking 50 feet to your mailbox, or finishing your first marathon? Why? Because running a marathon is hard! You can probably walk to the mailbox and back without even thinking about it or breaking a sweat. I’ll bet you can’t even remember the first time you walked to the mailbox, but if you’ve run a marathon, you’ll never forget the first one.
The mere fact that something was hard to do makes the value of doing it – or even trying to do it – that much greater to you. In fact, if it was not only hard, but took numerous attempts, lots of training and practice, and significant effort, all the more rewarding it is when you finally succeed. The harder a thing is to do, the stronger the sense of reward.
2. Enjoy a More Fulfilling Life
Related to the first reason above, life is much more fulfilling when you realize that you have stretched yourself and accomplished hard things. How can you not feel better about yourself when you do hard things regularly? Certainly doing hard things is…well…hard. It can be frustrating while you’re in the middle of it, especially if you’re doing something hard that was not necessarily your choice (like a difficult school project or dealing with a tough problem at work). However, being in the habit of doing hard things will lead to a more fulfilling life. You can’t fool yourself – if you always look for the easy way out, avoid doing anything difficult, fear trying hard things because you might fail – or worse, you’re just plain lazy – you’re psyche will know the truth. Likewise, your psyche knows when you do hard things. Doing hard things can improve your self esteem and lead to greater fulfillment.
3. Build Confidence
As you take on more and more difficult challenges, you will gain confidence in yourself. The more hard things you attempt, the more hard things you will achieve. You will not always succeed, and often there will be many failures on the path to success. By definition, it will not be easy. If you keep at it, the number and size of your successes will grow. As this occurs, your confidence will grow because you will know that you are doing hard things. As your confidence builds, you will be less intimidated by difficult challenges and you will do more hard things. It becomes a positive feedback cycle.
4. Learn and Grow
Doing hard things requires that you stretch yourself. You will have to go outside your comfort zone. And you’ll probably have to learn new skills. In fact, sometimes the hard thing is specifically learning a new skill. Regardless, by doing hard things regularly, you will continue to learn and grow.
5. Exceed Your Own Expectations
We may attempt things that most people consider to be extremely difficult – like being a professional athlete. Or, maybe we just struggle with something that is difficult for us – like giving a public presentation if you’re shy. Either way, regardless of what it is that you do, if you persistently push yourself to do very hard things, you will more than likely exceed your own expectations. You will discover that you can actually do more than you thought possible. But you have to do more than ‘try’. You have to knuckle down and push. It might take many attempts. You will probably experience fear, frustration, and doubt. Eventually you will be able to look back and realize that you were able to achieve more than you thought you could.
6. Avoid Average
Anybody can do the easy things. Doing the bare minimum is the epitome of mediocrity at best (dare I say lazy?). Anyone can sit on the couch and stare at the television. Taking the easy route is boring. Why settle for being average? Wouldn’t it feel better to set yourself apart by doing things other people don’t or won’t – usually specifically because they are hard? We’ve all heard the refrain, “I could never do that!” Maybe. But did you even try? What if you could do it?
Find something that is interesting and fun, but that takes a lot of effort to learn. Become an expert at something you enjoy. Do the extra credit work. Learn something new, just for the sake of learning it. Challenge yourself. Volunteer – either for extra assignments at work, or to support charitable organizations. Exceed your boss’ or teacher’s expectations of you. Raise the bar. Just don’t settle for average. Anyone can do that. Average is nothing special. It’s bland, boring, and unattractive. You are a unique and valuable human being with plenty of potential; you were not meant to be average.
I’ll add a special note here. Obviously in the strict sense, ‘someone’ has to be ‘average’ because everyone can’t be the ‘best’. But by ‘average’, I mean specifically the attitude of doing nothing ‘extra’, settling for the bare minimum, and doing only things that are easy for you. Not everyone has the same abilities and characteristics, so you can be ‘above average’ by choosing to do things that are hard for you, regardless of whether they are easy or hard for others.
7. Earn a Positive Reputation
When you do hard things, people will absolutely take notice. From a purely practical (not necessarily selfish) standpoint, you will develop a positive reputation by consistently doing hard things. This can lead to things like better jobs, better assignments, raises, promotions, friendships, and more. It can also lead to opportunities you might never expect when others specifically seek you out.
If you’re a parent, your kids will absolutely notice when you do hard things (and conversely, when you avoid them). By setting a positive example, you are more likely to earn their respect, but more importantly, prepare them for a productive, fulfilling, meaningful life.
8. Change the World
People who do the hard things are the ones who make a difference. These are the people who change the world for the better. They don’t do it by sleazing out of work or avoiding challenges.
By ‘world’, I don’t necessarily mean all of humanity. Some people certainly have that level of impact, but you can change the world by making a positive difference to your local community, school, company, team, organization, or even just one person. Regardless of scale, leave the world a better place by being here. Stretch yourself and do hard things, not just for your own personal benefit, but for others as well.
Doing Hard Things – Putting My Money Where My Mouth Is
Of course there are endless examples of ‘hard things’ that I’ve done. While this post is definitely not about me, I thought it might be good to share some of these examples, not for my personal glory or recognition, but rather to demonstrate the some of the points I’ve discussed above.
Learning Trials Biking
If you’ve read anything on this website, there is no way you didn’t see this coming! If you want to learn how I got started in trials biking and what is trials biking, read this and this. In summary, I started learning trials biking at 47 (I’m over 50 now), while being quite out of shape.
Trials biking is not just ‘like riding a bike.’ It is extremely difficult. It involves falling, crashing, and failing over and over and over and over. In a lot of ways, it’s like solving a physical puzzle (the obstacle, trick, or ‘line’) with just you and your bike. But when you make progress, pulling of a new trick or riding a difficult line, the sense of reward is exhilarating. There’s nothing like it.
Why do I do it? Because it’s so hard most people quit or never try it. Because it’s cool as hell. Because the journey is hard, but fun. And because the reward is just so sweet.
Earning a Master’s Degree
While in my 40’s, I decided to get my master’s degree in systems engineering. This was nearly 20 years after I graduated college, so going back to school was tough (my bachelor’s degree is in electrical engineering – yes, that was also extremely difficult!). In three years I earned my MS in systems engineering while also working full time.
Here’s the kicker. By outward appearances, some folks going for an advanced degree (that their employer pays for) seem to be just seeking a piece of paper that leads to a higher salary or a higher paying job elsewhere. That was absolutely not my approach. I worked my ass off, often times spending 20+ hours a week on homework and projects – even 40 hours one or two times – while working full time. I graduated with a 4.0 (out of 4.0). But I earned it. I didn’t just do the minimum. I was there to learn. Not just for my own sake, but because I wanted to translate what I learned into practice at my job – which was the whole reason for going back to school in the first place! Not for a scrap of paper or just for money. I did more than was required on many, if not all, assignments and projects.
This was one of the hardest things I have ever done. It wiped me out. It was tough. And probably would not have been possible without the support of my amazing wife who took on a lot of added burden at home so I could focus on school. But I did it. And because it was so hard, and because I put so much more into it than others seemed to do, it holds tremendous value to me.
An Introvert In The School Play
I have to confess, I am shy and introverted, though much less shy than when I was younger. I was the kid who hid behind Mom’s leg when she was talking to people I didn’t know. I was the student who sat in the back row, trying to hide behind the other kids so the teacher wouldn’t call on me.
Back in high school, specifically because I’m shy, I decided to audition for the school play one year. I wanted to force myself way outside of my comfort zone, to expand my comfort zone. I was terrified – I’d never done anything like this before. But I actually got a part in the play, albeit a small one – though still a speaking part. It was hard, but I did it. I had a great time. I met new people. It was worth the experience.
Sick and Working Late
Just the other day, I was requested to complete an annoying, time consuming, and somewhat challenging task by the end of the day. That was already bad enough. What made it really difficult is that I was on teleconferences literally all day long, so I could not even start the assignment until late in the afternoon. To make matters worse, I was sick, so I felt absolutely awful (though at least I was able to work from home). Regardless, people were counting on me, so I kept working until I finished at 9 pm. This is a fairly mundane example, but it still counts as doing something hard.
Eliminate Your Excuses
Want an extreme example of doing hard things as a way of life? Read Can’t Hurt Me, by David Goggins. Trust me, this book will take away any excuses you think you have.
What hard things have you done? What hard things do you want to do? What hard things will you do? Do hard things. Spread the word!